


Perks of Being a Wallflower: Reimagined

by mauripeke25



Category: The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012), The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) RPF, The Perks of Being a Wallflower - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29092491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauripeke25/pseuds/mauripeke25
Summary: What if all of Charlie’s friends didn’t graduate that year? What if the age difference wasn't there? What if they met Charlie earlier? This story explores this idea. This is my version of Perks.Not the best of summaries so without further ado Enjoy and suggestions are encouraged.
Relationships: Brad/Patrick (Perks of Being a Wallflower), Charlie/Sam (Perks of Being a Wallflower)
Kudos: 4





	1. 1300 miles

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to ignore this,   
> From the author to the reader: This is the first time that I find myself in this position, I discovered the world of fanfiction after reading the Harry Potter series 3 or so years ago, since then I have read probably over 150 fics belonging to the HP fandom and others and soon it became my main hobby. In those 3 years, the idea of actually writing never lasted more than a few minutes within the confines of my imagination mainly because I couldn’t come up with an idea that felt unique enough to be written and also because of English not being my main language and me not liking stories written in Spanish (my main language) kept me off writing.   
> And then I found the Perks of being a wallflower. It started after watching Justice league and wondering who Ezra Miller is and finding out he did a movie with Emma Watson and Logan Lerman, two of my favourite actors, and I decided to watch it. And just under an hour and a half later, I found myself thinking “this is beautiful” instantly followed by “I need to read the book” which I bought the ebook and 2 days later I finished it and thought “this is even better” and “I need more” so I opened fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.net and found myself disappointed by the lack of content which is composed mostly of one-shots and a couple of forgotten stories although the few that you can find are great after a couple of weeks it proved to be not enough and I thought what if I write?  
> And unlike all of the other times, I considered writing that though never left and it grew. An idea had formed in my head, what If all of Charlie’s friends didn’t graduate that year? let’s make it so that they are all on the same year more specifically their second year of high school that way I get to keep that group of friends and their dynamics but how do I introduce Charlie to them in a way that keeps that “I’m new here where do I fit in” theme that the book has and today I figured out I won’t write it here because it will probably be in the summary and if not then it’s on the first chapter.   
> If you made it this far thank you and I’m sorry you had to read through my ramblings. Beware what follows is my first time writing and if you find any mistakes do point them out.   
> Enjoy

Charlie PoV

When my parents sat down with my brother, sister and me and told us that Dad got a promotion we were all excited that is until the other shoe dropped the promotion was under the condition that he goes to work in the central offices at Pittsburgh that’s 1300 miles from Houston which meant we would have to move. 

My sister Candace was the most affected by the news she immediately ran to her room and started crying, my sister is what you would commonly call the popular girl meaning lots of friends, head of the student association, gets top grades and is on the fast track to graduating with full honours, so I guess I can understand why she is upset after all we are moving 1300 miles away from it all. Then, on the other hand, there is my brother Chris, he just graduated 2 weeks ago and has like five scholarship offers from different universities to play football including Penn State which he had ruled out almost as soon as it arrived saying 1300 miles was too far from home, I remember dad saying not to send his answer so soon because you never know the twists that life can throw at you. He said that with a little smile that I didn't understand at the time but I’m guessing that he knew of the possibility of having to move there. 

And then there’s me, Charlie, I had mixed feelings about it, after all, I was going to start my second year of high school and I had already gone through all of the mess that is not knowing anyone and trying to make friends, then again I failed miserably at that part only making one Michael, god it has been a while since I thought about him, I’m not sure how to feel about that. You see he committed suicide back in May. I don’t remember much of the time after that happened my sister said I was going through the motions of life without living, like in a daze.

I remember the school setting up guidance counsellors for anyone who needed it, but they made me and the other few friends that Michael had to go to a mandatory session. I could tell they were afraid that one of us would kill ourselves. I can remember the counsellor saying that he suspected that Michael had “problems at home” and that he felt that he was alone and could talk to anyone after that I started screaming at the guidance counsellor that Michael could have talked to me. he tried calming me down but I started crying even harder. Eventually, my brother came by and took me home. For the rest of the year, I was an outcast, everyone was scared that I would just break down again so they started avoiding me, not that most weren’t doing it before that but now it was even worse, so yeah 1300 miles away from all of this sounds pretty good right now.


	2. First Day

Sam Pov:

I could feel their mocking stares and hear their whispers filled with disdain “slut”, “blow queen” they would call me and those were among the nicer ones, apparently getting drunk and getting on your knees before any guy that approaches you at a party is a good way to get a bad reputation and doing it multiple times pretty much seals it. _God, I was a mess last year I’m still not sure how I didn’t fail a single class. I'm lying. I know how and it's called summer school._ I looked at my stepbrother Patrick, he was walking in front of me carving a path for us to walk through the mess that is a high school hallway on the first day, _as much as I love Mary Elizabeth and Alice I don’t think they fully understand what I went through and thinking back to those times it was Patrick who really helped me get through and be able to hear the way they talk about me and not to feel self-conscious and be able to keep my head up_.

I felt Patrick bumping our shoulders together bringing me out of my musings and I looked at him. He was giving me a reassuring smile and I realized we reached the advanced English classroom. Now that is something I’m still trying to understand, the girl who almost dropped out of high school after a single year got recommended for the advanced English class.

“This is my stop, see you later Patrick”. I told him

“of course little sister, and remember I will be driving us home so don’t hang around too long or I might leave you” he answered me with that infuriating smile of his, really he is only 3 weeks older than me and ever since our parents got us that truck he has been lording it over me that I’m still 3 weeks away from being able to get my licence -“you can be so annoying sometimes, remind me why I love you”

“my astonishing good looks and my extremely charismatic personality” he confidently responded

“ahh, now I remember is because you are full of yourself” I responded instantly wiping the smirk off his face and before he could come up with a come back the bell rang and with a quick “bye” I walked into the class to see that the only seats remaining were right in front of the teacher’s desk, _Great_. 

I sat down just as the teacher walked in and started roll-calling after he was done everyone but one was there and he started introducing himself when he was interrupted by the door opening instantly everyone turned to look at the kid that walked in. He was clearly embarrassed and he murmured something about getting lost. “ _yeah right that's the best excuse you can come up with?_ ” 

“Charlie Kelmeckis right?” the teacher asked him, Charlie quickly nodded “well have a seat. As I was saying I'm Mr Anderson but you can call me Bill and I'm going to be your teacher this year. This semester, we're going to be working with Harper Lee's ``To Kill a Mockingbird”. He started passing books around and talking about the book and I got distracted looking at Charlie as he settled down next to me. He was on the small side with dark hair but the main features were his eyes, they were blue but not that pale blue that is common, his were darker and expressive very expressive. _I don't think I have seen him around. Maybe he’s new? that would explain the whole being lost part,_ he pulled out a Trapper Keeper and I heard the girl on his other side whisper “Nice Trapper Keeper, faggot” _now that’s a word I hate, faggot, mainly because how many times Patrick was on the receiving end of that insult when he came out as gay last year and because Really? of all the possible insults you have to mock someone for their sexual preference_. Suddenly all the hands went up except for Charlie’s and mine. _Shit, what did he ask?_

“He's British -Bill continued- He also invented the serial. In fact, at the end of chapter 3 of his first novel, he had a man hanging off a cliff by his fingernails. Hence, the term cliffhanger. Anybody?.

I could see Charlie write something down as a boy near the back said “Shakespeare”.

“That's a great guess, but no, Shakespeare wrote theatre not novels. Anybody else?

The author was…” 

And he stopped, he was looking at what Charlie had written- _did he write the answer down?_ and then they looked at each other. Bill was giving Charlie an encouraging look but Charlie seemed reluctant and uncomfortable so Bill continued “... Charles Dickens. However, if you and I had gone to a play in Shakespeare's time, it would have cost 4 pennies. Can you imagine that? We would have put those pennies in a metal box, which the ushers would lock in the office. And that's where we get the term... anyone?” while everyone was throwing wild guesses around, I kept looking at Charlie so I could see if he would do it again and sure he did then looked up to find that Bill was staring at him. Waiting for him to raise his hand. “I'll give you a free "A" on anything but the final term paper if you get it right. Charlie looked down. _He's not going to answer. But why?._ “Box office” at that point everyone was feeling like idiots for not knowing, that is everyone but charlie, he had a little smile on his face and his eyes got a little sparkle - but it wasn't arrogant like he thought he was better than the rest of us, no he was enjoying it. The rest of the class passed without much happening except that Charlie did it twice more and every time after someone gave the correct answer he got that same smile on his face. _This class just got way more interesting._

When the bell rang I got up and started making my way to the cafeteria, sorry to the “Nutrition Center”. I mean really “Nutrition Center”? we all thought it was stupid but no one cared enough to say anything so it just stayed that way. And then I realized I didn't have my jacket and groaned and made my way back to the English classroom. When I arrived there I could hear Mr Anderson talking to Charlie. I don't know why but instead of going in I stayed outside listening.

“No offence, sir, but if my English teacher is the only friend I make today, that would be sort of depressing” I could hear a hint of sadness in his voice as he said that.

“Yeah. I could see that”. I heard Bill answering.

“So I wanted to ask you how to get to the cafeteria”

At that point I walked in and when Bill noticed me said “ahh miss Dutton I believe this is yours” while holding my jacket “thank you sir” I was turning around when he said, “would you mind showing Charlie here to the cafeteria?” 

“sure - and then looking at charlie - come on I’ll show you” 

Charlie PoV:

The walk was quiet, the hallways had already emptied out, everyone had rushed to the cafeteria. I was watching her I had noticed she had looked at me for a lot of time during class but I didn’t pay her much attention until now, she was beautiful she as tall as me and her brunette hair reached just below her shoulders and it bounced hypnotically with every step she gave and her eyes were the most beautiful shade of chocolate brown.

“I’m Samantha by the way but call me Sam” I heard her say and it brought me out of my musings

“nice to meet you Sam I’m Charlie” I quickly answered

“you’re new around here right?”

“yeah we moved from Houston during the summer”

“It must be hard leaving everything behind and moving to a new place,” she said while looking at me, and I didn't know how to answer without sounding weird so I just shrugged.

After that, the silence returned but I couldn't keep my eyes off her, _such beautiful eyes._ just as I thought that she turned to me. and said “thanks, yours are quite pretty as well” _Shit._ “Did I say that out loud?” 

“Yes you did” she answered with a smile. And then the other part of what she said caught up to me and I instantly blushed, and she knew that there is no way she didn’t, judging by the way her smile grew. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life. Thankfully we had arrived at the cafeteria and I wanted to ask if I could sit with her during lunch but I was still too embarrassed so I tried to get away with a quick “thanks” but of course she couldn't let me go that easily and she said “bye charlie” in a sing-song voice that made me finally understand what they say about butterflies in your stomach. And she walked past me heading towards the back of the cafeteria but before she could get too far a couple of elder girls bumped into her and nearly sent her to the floor and they said something to Sam I couldn’t hear what it was over the hundreds of voices in the eco-filled room but I could see how it affected her the way her shoulder dropped and how she lowered her head. I wanted to go to her but before I could move she ran off and I quickly lost sight of where she went.

So I got my lunch and after seeing my sister sitting alone I went to join her only for her to tell me she was having lunch with some friends she made from some club I’ve never heard of but knowing Candace she wasn't saying it to get rid of me but she really was having lunch with this club. So I just went to sit by myself before heading off to my last class of the day which is Shop, freshman Shop, what can I say I needed one more class and you can't get into the second year class without passing this one first. and the other options were marching band or a sports team neither of them being something that interested me, not that shop does but it was the best option.

We were all waiting for the teacher to show up and when a kid used a pencil to draw a moustache on his face and started doing an imitation of who I supposed was the teacher. _There is no way he is a freshman considering how good he seems to know the teacher._ By the time the teacher walked in everyone was laughing though we stopped as soon as we noticed him but the kid doing the impersonation didn’t stop just walked up to the teacher and shook his hand and said “Mr Callahan how good to see you” all while still doing the imitation which sent the entire class into fits of laughter.

“I heard you were going to be in my class. Are you proud of being a sophomore taking freshman shop, Patty-Cakes? Not that you are the only sophomore taking this class” said the teacher while looking at me. At that, I could feel everyone's eyes settle upon me. _Suddenly joining the marching band sounds lovely._

“My name is Patrick. You call me Patrick or you call me nothing” said the imitation guy while wiping away his drawn moustache.

“Okay... Nothing” everyone but I laughed at that but me, as Patrick made his way to sit beside me and gave me a smile. _I felt really bad for Patrick. He wasn't saying the impersonation to be mean or anything._

“Everyone open your safety guides. And Nothing... why don't you read first?” _This guy really has a problem. I wonder if it’s too late to join the swimming team._

“Chapter 1. -Patrick began reading- Surviving your fascist shop teacher, who needs to put kids down to feel big.” And he turned to the class and said “Oh, wow. This is useful guys. We should read on.” I smiled after that. _This might not be so bad after all._


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> needs a name suggestions wanted

Charlie PoV

It has been a month since school started and things have been going pretty well, I finished  _ To Kill a Mockingbird _ after three days of reading, and I must say I absolutely loved it, and it has become my favourite book, but I’ll probably say the exact same thing about the next book I read, that’s another thing about me I’m a Bookworm and the only thing that I enjoy on a similar level is music, I owe both to my Aunt Helen, she died on my birthday four years ago but before that she came to live with us when I was 7 and she would often give me mixtapes and books even though my dad even though they were too advanced for me, after he saw how much I liked them he never said anything, aunt Helen died on my birthday four years ago. Anyways I don’t really like to think about her especially after what she did to me. Right, bad thoughts out I need to focus and finish this essay about  _ To Kill a Mockingbird  _ for Bill. 

When I told him last week that I had already finished the book he looked surprised but after a moment he told me to write him an essay and he would give me something else to read, I’m really curious about what he’ll give me to read.

Among other things my sister got herself a boyfriend, his name is Derek. He wears his hair in a ponytail that honestly looks like those racoon tail hats that you see in old movies. He came for dinner the other day and to quote my dad “The kid's a pussy. I can't stand him” and I find myself agreeing especially with how he lets Candace push him around. His only redeeming quality is his taste for music, he gave my sister a couple of mixtapes and after borrowing them I made copies.

Other than that not much has happened, tomorrow evening is the homecoming football game and next week’s Saturday is the homecoming dance and I’m not too sure if I’m going to either of them. Back in Houston, I would only go to watch my brother play but other than that I didn’t really care about the game. Though Sam told me she was going to be there and to look for her. I hadn’t seen her much outside of English class, and those times tended to be Smalltalk before Bill started the day’s lesson and just walking together to the cafeteria for lunch and almost every time something like that first day would happen whether it was some older girls bumping into her or someone calling her something rude, she made it look like she didn’t care but if you looked closely you could see the edge of her eyes crinkling and her nostrils flare just a little. I never asked her about her because I didn’t think she would like to talk about it.


	4. Football and King’s

Sam PoV:

_ Why is there always a queue for the ladies toilet?  _ That was going through my head as I watched enviously the way the men’s toilet door almost remained open with the number of people going in and out, I had been here for the past ten minutes and I must admit, Pattrick was right, the extra-large soda was a mistake.  _ Not that I’ll ever give him the satisfaction of knowing. Finally.  _ As soon as I walked in I regretted that soda even more.

I was walking back to my seat and I saw Charlie sitting with Patrick. I had spent some time before the match looking for him but gave up when the match was starting assuming he hadn’t come. I could hear them talking.

“... my dad is building mine” to which Patrick answered with a smile “Yeah, mine looks like a boat. Hey Sam”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a more disgusting bathroom in my life”. I told while I sat down next to Charlie.

“Well, that’s because you haven’t had the pleasure of going to a men’s room”. He said before jumping up and celebrating when the Devils scored.

After sitting down he said, “Oh, Sam this is..”

“Charlie Kelmeckis, I know we have English together. So how did you two meet?” I said while stealing one of Charlie’s nachos

“We have Shop class together” Charlie answered while moving his nachos away from me right into Patrick’s reach.

“Kelmeckis - said Patrick while serving himself to Charlie’s nachos - Oh shit, your sister is Dating Ponytail Derek”

“that’s what they call him? And leave my nachos alone” he said without an ounce of malice in his voice.

After a couple of minutes one of the teams called a timeout and Patrick asked what we were going to after the game to which I answered “Dunno, Bob is still trying to get into that Waitress’s pants and Mary Elizabeth got caught sneaking into her parent’s liquor cabinet so that’s a no go”

“well, that sucks. Got any ideas, Charlie?” 

I could see that it caught him off guard because he stammered before replying that he didn’t have any.

“Let’s just go to King’s” I ended up saying after a while and after getting an affirmative from Patrick I asked Charlie what he though

“Sorry, what’s King’s?”

“It’s a cafe, good food and good music, you’ll like it”

After that, we got back to listening to Patrick’s play-by-play of the game till the game ended and we set off to King’s.

At king’s

Once we got to King’s we sat down at one of the outside tables and after ordering, coffee for Patrick and me while Charlie got himself a brownie, we started talking and I realized that even though Charlie and I had talked and had known each other for a couple of weeks we didn’t know anything about each other but we quickly got to remedy that.

“So, Charlie what’s your favourite band?”

“I think The Smiths are my favourite”

This got a smile on my face and I said: “Are you kidding!? I love The Smiths! The best breakup band ever. What's your favourite song?”

“Asleep. It's from Louder Than Bombs. I heard it on PonyTail Derek's mixtape”

Patrick laughed at that and said “That works on so many levels”

Charlie laughed with him and said “Yes, it’s called Autumn Leaves and the cover is hand-painted”

We were all laughing at this point and it took almost ten minutes for us to calm down because we would look at each other and start laughing again. Once that was over I kept asking Charlie questions about himself. 

“What’s your favourite movie?”

“I don’t know really. They’re all the same to me.”

“Charlie, I saw you talking with Mr Anderson today, what’s up with that?”

“Oh that, he gave me another book to read after I finished  _ To Kill a Mockingbird” _

“You already finished it?. I’m only halfway done. So what book did he give you?”

“ _ This Side of Paradise _ by F. Scott Fitzgerald, but I haven’t started it yet” 

“So, Charlie... what are you going to do when you get out of here?”

“My Aunt Helen said I should be a writer, but I don't know what I'd write about”

“Ohh, you could write about us - said Patrick - you could call it The Slut and The Falcon and make us solve crimes” I smiled and with faux indignation, I answered, “I assume I would be the falcon you the slut, right Pattrick?” but I couldn’t hold it and just laughed.

“You guys look happy together,” Charlie said after our little outbreak. “How long have you been boyfriend and girlfriend?”

This set us off again and I began laughing while Patrick made kissy faces at me, All the while Charlie was looking at us with a look of confusion that was so cute.  _ Where did that come from?. _ ”What?” He asked.

**“** He's my step-brother. My mom finally left my worthless dad and married his nice dad 3 years ago”

“Be careful around this one Charlie, I used to be popular before she got me into good music. If you don’t watch out she’ll ruin your life forever” Patrick said jokingly. I slapped his shoulder and replied “Don’t listen to him charlie he was never popular, to begin with”

We spent another hour at King’s before heading back and dropping Charlie off outside his house.

  
  


Charlie PoV

I watched the tail lights of the truck fade into the distance. I probably look ridiculous standing in the middle of the road with a manic grin at half-past one in the morning. I should probably go inside before one of the neighbours sees me and calls the police. Dad’s car wasn't in the garage, meaning my parents hadn’t returned from dinner with my dad’s boss. But I could see Derek’s car parked across the street. As I went in I saw light coming from the basement accompanied hushed voices drifting up the stairs along with the faint smell of alcohol. It sounded like my sister and her boyfriend were arguing, I was right. I was halfway down the stairs and neither of them had noticed me.

I’m not sure what they were arguing or what Candace said and frankly, I didn’t and still don’t care but I’ll never forget what happened next. A sharp SNAP followed by a deafening silence disturbed only by Derek’s angered breathing. It was at that point that they noticed me and we all looked at each other for a moment that seemed to last forever, and then the anger came and I remembered all that Chris taught me about fighting. Before I knew it I was rushing down the stairs ready to pounce on Derek. Candace managed to stop me but not before I managed to get one punch to his face. She was holding me back and whispering in my ear “Charlie stop, don’t do this. Please, I can handle him”. She then grabbed my face and made me look at her and with a pleading expression said “Please trust me, Charlie, I can deal with him. Just please don’t tell mum and dad” She then pushed me up the stairs and I let her.

I ended up in my room sitting on the floor just listening until I heard the main door open and close I raced to the kitchen and took an ice pack from the freezer before peeking out the window to see Derek getting in his car but not before receiving a kiss from Candace. I waited on the stairs for my sister to come back inside and offered her the ice but she didn’t take it.

“Candace, what are you doing?” I asked

“Look, I egged him on. You saw it”

“That's no excuse and you know it” I interrupted her.

“He's never hit me before. I promise he'll never do it again. Just don’t tell Mum and Dad”

I'm not sure why I agreed but I did and she went up to her room. But I just stayed there on the stairs.  I don’t know how long I was there but it wasn’t until I heard my dad opening the garage that I went up to my room. I spent most of the weekend there reading  _ This Side of Paradise _ because I knew that if they saw me like that they would ask me what was wrong and I wouldn't be able to tell them it was all okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> needs a title, feel free to comment your suggestions

Sam PoV

I don’t know why I let them affect me, after all, I have been dealing with the whispers and looks for a long time, but the point is that it was different this time. I'm not sure why but it was so I did the only thing that came to mind and just ran, with tears on my face I ran, knowing that almost everyone would be at the cafeteria. I just went the other way towards the parking lot and locked myself in our truck and laid down on the seat.

It was a minute or so later that I heard an incessant tapping on the window accompanied by a voice.

“Sam, open the door. Sam please” It was Charlie, he must have followed me, but I just ignored him and turned my face against the back of the seat. But he wouldn’t stop. _Why does he even care? He's only known me for a month._

“Go away Charlie” 

“I’m not going anywhere Sam, so please open the door”

_Oh you want me to open the door well you’ll get what you want but you’ll regret it._ So I came out and shouted at him to go away and then I started hitting him but before I could harm him he pulled me into a hug and held me while I broke down.

I don’t know how long It took me to calm down but he just held me through it all, at some point, we slid down to the ragged parking lot asphalt. But I didn’t care so I just stayed there.

“What happened Sam? Why do they treat you like this?”

“I’ll tell you but first let’s get off the floor”

We sat down on the bed of the truck, I took a cigarette out and offered one to Charlie but he declined. After letting out a smokey sigh I started talking and the words just flowed out of my mouth and I told him, how I would get drunk on parties, the things I would do at these parties, how this got me a reputation, how I would hang out with people that treated me like shit, how I treated people I cared like shit including Patrick, how I almost failed all my classes and how I’m still struggling with not failing them, all in some fucked up attempt to be popular. And he just listened. _Why are you such a good person, Charlie?_

“And then it was two months before the end of the term that I went to a party and the next day I woke half-naked in an unknown bed not being able to remember most of what had happened the night before.” I took another swig from what must have been the third cigarette before continuing. 

“What followed were probably the worst three weeks of my life. People were saying things about me, they still do. My period was late, really late and I thought… I thought I was pregnant. I spent the next few days in a trance. I remember going to the drug store to get a pregnancy test, going home, waiting until everyone was asleep and then just sitting on the bathroom for what felt like hours just staring at the box. It was 3 am before I finally took it. While I waited I vowed that no matter whether I was pregnant or not I would turn my life around. And it was negative and I just sat there looking at that little stick crying until Patrick found me. I don’t remember much of it but Patrick later told me that I just hugged him and kept crying while babbling about how sorry I was”

“Sorry for dropping all of this at once, Charlie”

“It’s okay Sam,” he said with a troubled look on his face

“What’s bothering you, Charlie?”

“It’s just that no-one has ever been this open with me and it’s a lot to think about”

“Sorry”

“Don’t apologise, thank you for telling me”

We spent a couple of minutes in silence during which Charlie seem to be thinking hard about something he opened his mouth as if to say something a couple of times before I got tired and just said “C’mon Charlie spit it out”

“Sam, Do you have a date for the dance?”

_Ahh Shit. Why is it that when the nicest guy I’ve ever met wants to ask me out I have to be an absolute mess? Fuck what do I do? Okay here it goes_

“Charlie, you are a really nice guy but after what happened last year I’m still too messed up to go out with anyone and I’m not sure when I’ll be ready so please I don’t want

you wasting your time pining for me, Can you do that, Charlie?” 

“it’s okay, I’ll try,” he said sadly and after a moment he added “ I could help you with your classes”

“What?”

“Well you said you’re still struggling with catching up, I could help you”

“Would you really do that for me?”

“Yes” I couldn’t take it so I just hugged him and whispered in his ear “Thank you Charlie” I could feel him nod and then a voice said 

“Ahh look at you lovebirds, Am I interrupting? would you like me to leave you two alone?”

“you’re such an ass Patrick”

“I try Sam, I try,” he said while climbing on the back of the truck with us 

“So what’s new?” he asked

“Not much - I told him - I told charlie about last year, he has a Charlie-Esque crush on me”

“I’m working on it” Charlie interrupted

“and he offered to tutor me. And you dear brother anything interesting?”

“Well, Mary Elizabeth decided she was going to start that magazine she has been thinking about for the last month. She’s calling it Punk-Rocky. And Alice decided to join her so they ditched me to go work on it. And the latest piece of gossip is that Ponytail Derek has a black eye and has Charlie’s sister all over him. It’s so sweet I almost threw up when I saw them” he said that last part with an exaggerated shudder.

I laughed and asked if he knew how he got it.

“He SAYS he fell but some people think he got beat up but I was hoping Charlie here would know something more, after all, he is dating your sister”

Charlie looked down at one of his hands, it was bruised not enough to be obvious but if you looked carefully you would see the slight tint on it. _Did Charlie do it? Nah he’s too good._ then he said, “Does a single punch count as beating up?”

“WHAT?! WHY?!” _I couldn’t see it sweet, shy Charlie just punching someone._

“I’m missing something,” said Patrick

I brought my hand to Charlie's face and made him look at me “What happened Charlie?”

It was at this point that Patrick understood and exclaimed “Oh shit!” I glared at him “sorry” he said and I turned back to Charlie. I still didn’t understand why he would do something like that.

“He slapped her”

_And now it made sense._

“Okay, tell us everything”

And he did, it was fifteen minutes later that he finished

“... I promised her I wouldn’t tell our parents, she said it was the first time it happened and that it wouldn’t happen again but I don’t know what to do”

After he said that we started talking about what he could do we ended up deciding to help him keep an eye out to see if it happened again and if it did he would tell his parents.


	6. Homecoming Pot Brownies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was this chapter that I finished writing on Saturday the 29th of January just 20 days after I wrote the first chapter that made me decide that this story will be published.

Sam PoV

What am I doing here? This dance sucks, the music sucks, the people here are boring, Mary Elizabeth and Alice said they were going to the toilet and never came back, probably ran off to Bob’s party not that I blame them but they could have said something so we wouldn't have spent half an hour looking for them. Patrick and I were standing by the beverages table hoping that we could find something spiked.

“Explain to me again why we haven’t left”

Before I could answer the violin opening of  _ Come On, Eileen  _ “They playing good music”

“Holy shit, they are.” he said and after a moment he asked “Living room routine?”

“You've read my mind”. I said with a smile.

And we just danced taking over the centre of the dance floor with our craziness. When the slow part of the song was halfway through Charlie came out of the crowd around us. We hadn’t seen him all night and I thought he stayed at home but here he was doing an awkward attempt at dancing and I couldn't help myself and laughed at the sheer craziness of what we were doing. We kept dancing or a couple of songs until a slow song came on and the floor was inundated with couples. 

“Let’s go to Bob’s,” said Patrick

“Yeah” I answered before turning to Charlie “there’s a party at a friend house you wanna come?”

He hesitated before answering yes. On our way out we came across Charlie’s sister and her boyfriend sucking each other faces off, and Patrick had to stop Charlie from doing something stupid “Besides there are better ways to make his night suck without getting in trouble and I happen to know where he parked his car”

“Patrick,” I said with a warning tone.

“Don’t worry Sam It won't be that bad and besides you know he deserves it” he turned to the other boy and asked, “what do you say, Charlie, want to introduce Mr ponytail to the pleasures of changing a tire while wearing a suit?”

And Charlie got that grin of his, the same he would get during that first English class when he would write the answer to some question instead of raising his hand. I just rolled my eyes and thought  _ Boys. _

“Fine but give me the car keys, I don’t want to be near you if you get caught”

Charlie PoV:

We were walking towards the door of a house in one of the richer parts of the suburbs and I asked: “Are you sure it’s okay for me to come?”

“Don’t worry -said Sam- just remember what I told you about Bob, he’s not paranoid just..”

“sensitive, I remember”

“See you’ll be fine” she answered while Patrick did a rhythmic knock on the front door.

“Was that...”

“A secret knock? yes it was” Patrick answered with a smile before turning to the door when a voice said

“Patrick also known as Patty also known as Nothing”

“Sod off Bob”

“How are you?” A guy with frizzy hair said while hugging Patrick

“good, Bob this is our friend Charlie, Charlie this is Bob”

And then Bob did something that caught me off guard: he hugged me.

When he let go of me turned to Sam and said:

“Sam... that waitress from the Olive Garden is a tease. Will you marry me?

“Only if I have Patrick's blessing.”

“Patrick?” Bob said with a pleading expression.

“ Let’s see: you're a hopeless stoner whose greatest ambition is to attend the culinary institute. So, I'm going to have to say "no" on that one, but nice try. C’mon Charlie” Patrick and I went in while Sam stayed outside talking with Bob.

As we went in I was hit by the smell of alcohol, it was so strong you could get drunk by smelling it. There was something else that I didn’t recognize but was later told it was the smell of pot which apparently was “A signature of Bob’s house”.

“Ah, there they are. Come, Charlie, I want you to meet some people” said Patrick before setting off towards a couch in the back of the room where two girls were sitting. He introduced them as Mary Elizabeth and Alice.

“This is Charlie’s first party at Pittsburg so I expect you two to show him a very good time. If you know what I mean” he said that last part while waggling his eyebrows

“You’re such an ass Patrick” answered Mary Elizabeth while slapping his shoulder.

After that, we got talking and I learned that they were best friends. Alice was into vampires and goth things and for some reason, she liked to steal jeans from the mall even though she could easily afford them due to her parents being well off.

As for Mary Elizabeth, she was obsessed with  _ The Rocky Horror Show  _ and had just started a fanzine about it. She was also considering becoming a Buddhist to which Patrick said “you should totally do it, maybe that way you’ll stop being so mean” which earned him a punch on the arm.

At this point, Sam came accompanied by a tall athletic looking boy “look who's here” she said. Patrick turned around and got a smile on his face before going out with both of them. 

“Who's that?” I asked them

“Brad Hays, he plays quarterback for the Devils” Bob was the one that answered he was carrying a tray of brownies “Want one, Charlie?”. I hadn’t had anything for dinner and there wasn’t any food at the dance so I happily accepted they had a funny taste but it was nice so I finished it in two more bites.

I was probably around half an hour later, I was sitting on the carpet in front of the couch where Mary Elizabeth and Alice still sat. “Charlie, what do you think of high school?” Someone I didn't know asked, people had started gathering around us because apparently, I say a lot of funny things while I’m high.

“High school? Bullshit. The cafeteria is called the Nutrition Center. And people wear their letter jackets even when it's 98 degrees out. And why do they give out letters to the marching band? That's not a sport, and we all know it.” And people laughed, It was a weird feeling because they weren’t laughing at me but they were laughing because of me, it was the first time something like this happened. 

That’s when Sam came back in “Look, Sam, I’m high!” I said while smiling. She looked at me for a second trying to understand what was happening before turning to Bob who was sitting on the couch in front of me “YOU GOT HIM HIGH?!?!” She kept talking to him while he tried to sink deeper and deeper into the couch but I had stopped listening and stared at Sam.  _ She looks beautiful when she’s angry except when she’s angry at you then it's just scary. I’m really failing at not thinking of Sam that way.  _ She was kneeling in front of me and said: “how are you feeling, Charlie?”

“Light”  _ that’s odd I hadn’t realized until she asked. _

“Are you thirsty?”

“Uh-huh.”  _ Hadn’t noticed that either. _

“What would you like to drink?”

_ I don’t know. Actually, I do.  _ “A milkshake.” And everyone in the room, except Sam, erupted in laughter. 

“C’mon. We’ll get you a milkshake.” As we were leaving, Sam turned to Bob. “I still think you’re an asshole.” All Bob did was laugh. And Sam finally laughed, too.

We made it up the stairs and she turned the lights on and sat me down on a bar stool while she opened the fridge. I watched her for a couple of minutes as she ran around preparing milkshakes for the both of us before asking her where the bathroom was and she gave me directions that in my current state I couldn't hope to understand but I sat off anyway. I managed to find a bathroom but when I was making my way back I got lost. After wandering for a while and founding the laundry room and two closets I was getting desperate and opened a door without knocking and I saw Patrick kissing Brad. It was a stolen type of kissing. They heard me open the door and turned around. Patrick spoke first. “Is that you, Charlie?”

“Sorry, wrong door, I’ll leave you to it”

As I was turning to leave I heard Brad asking Patrick who I was in a very nervous voice and Patrick told him not to worry and that I was a friend before coming out to talk to me.

“Listen, Brad doesn't want anyone to know... wait, are you baked?”

“That’s what they said downstairs And Sam is making me a milkshake”

He laughed at that before saying:

“Okay, Charlie, listen. I need you to promise that you're not going to say anything to anyone about me and Brad. This has to be our little secret”

“Our little secret. Agreed.”

“Thank you. We'll talk later.”

Sam PoV

I was starting to get worried, I had finished making the milkshakes and was halfway done with mine and Charlie hadn’t come back.  _ That’s it I’m going to find him.  _ But before I could get up I saw him come down the hallway. “There you are, I was getting worried”

“Sorry, I got lost.” He said as he sat down on the barstool.

“Well then, One milkshake for the blue-eyed gentlemen”. I said while giving him his drink, making him blush and mumble a quiet thank you. It was fun to make him blush  _ and he does look cute when he does. _ I turned around to clean up and heard him moan and say: “Best milkshake ever” and I just laughed before finishing and sitting down with him, he had been staring at me while I cleaned up.

“I really like what you did with your hair,” he said as I sat down,  _ so that’s why he’s been staring. _

“Thank you” I answered with a smile, I had decided to cut it short earlier that week and honestly I wasn’t too sure I liked it.  _ I wonder if he’s still high. _

“Though I miss the way it used to bounce when you walked, it doesn’t do that anymore”

_ Yep definitely high.  _ “Really? I used to find it annoying”

“Oh yes I really liked it, I would sometimes walk behind you just to see it bounce”

I raised an eyebrow at this “Really Charlie you would walk behind me and ONLY look at my hair?”

“That’s right”  _ you can’t be this good Charlie: _

“You wouldn’t look at anything else?” this time with a teasing tone.

“Nope, nothing else,” he said.  _ Oh my god, he’s not lying. _

“Well I’m sure that you’ll find something else to look at while walking behind me” I leaned in and whispered in his ear “my suggestion would be to look lower” as I stepped back I gave him a wink and as I started walking out the kitchen I may or may not have added a little extra sway on the hips. I stopped at the kitchen door to look back at him “You gonna stay there all night charlie?”  _ It shouldn’t be this fun to tease him like this. _

Charlie PoV:

It was half-past two in the morning and most people had already left and it was only Sam, Bob, Alice, Mary Elizabeth, a couple of people I had forgotten the names of,  _ maybe I never knew them to begin with _ and I’m guessing Patrick is still around though I haven’t seen him since I walked in on him and Brad. Sam has been showing me her favourite songs, there were some by The Beatles, The Smiths, U2 among others and I really liked all of them but I would have to listen to them sober to really appreciate them, she also promised me to lend me some mixtapes.

That’s when Patrick came downstairs he had a big smile. And Bob started to make fun of him having a crush on the quarterback. And Patrick’s smile just got bigger. I don’t think I ever saw Patrick smile so much. Then, Patrick pointed at me and said something to Bob. “He’s something, isn’t he?” Bob nodded his head. Patrick then said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. “He’s a wallflower.” And Bob really nodded his head. And the whole room nodded their heads. Patrick sat down next to me. “You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.” I didn’t know that other people thought things about me. I didn’t know that they looked. I was, and I remembered that Sam introduced me as her friend to Bob. And I remembered that Patrick had done the same for Brad. And I started to cry. And nobody in that room looked at me weird for doing it. Bob raised his drink and asked everyone to do the same. “To Charlie.” And the whole group said, “To Charlie.” And then I really started to cry. I didn’t know why they did that, but it was very special to me that they did. Especially Sam. Especially her. She put her arm around me and said “Welcome to the island of misfit toys” and I couldn’t help it and just laughed, there I was sitting on the floor of a basement of my first real party between Sam and Patrick with a glass filled with the remains of a second milkshake crying and laughing at the same time.

After the party we got on Sam’s truck, Patrick was driving this time, I sat on the passenger seat while Sam was between us fighting with the radio to find a decent song and not some trashy music or commercials, why would someone pay for their brand to be on the radio at 3 am, and suddenly she found this great song that none of us knew the name of, it was a beautiful song, it was one of those songs that weren’t just words but it was one that told a story and we just listened for five minutes we just listened the rest of the world didn’t exist. It was only the three of us in a truck speeding down the highway and when it ended there was only one thing on my mind “I feel Infinite” and they both looked at me like it was the best thing anyone had ever said and we sat in silence until Sam said: “Patrick, Let's go through the tunnel!”

“You want to do that insanity again?” answered Patrick.

“Patrick, it's the perfect song!”

I was so confused, I mean what's so insane about going through a tunnel so I asked them and Sam answered “You’ll see. Come on Patrick I’m begging you we have to show Charlie”

“Ok fine but only because Charlie is here”. That was a lie, something else about Patrick that I learned is that Sam has him wrapped around her little finger but he didn’t like to admit it so he would find these feeble excuses to agree to what she wanted, it was amusing.

We were nearing the Fort Pitt tunnel and Sam took a tape from the glove box and put it in the player before climbing out the rear window into the truck bed before standing up and holding to the fog lights while David Bowie’s Heroes started playing. Right before we went into the tunnel she screamed for Patrick who was driving faster and faster with a massive smile upon his face to turn the music up. As the truck went into the tunnel she let go of the floodlights and raised her arms. I was so mesmerized that nothing could have made me take my eyes off her windswept from the tunnel could have collapsed and I wouldn’t have cared as I memorised every detail of her from her shivering legs past the band-aid on her left kneecap to the way her dress flowed with the wind to the way she flapped her arms as if they were wings. Finally, I saw her face, the dimples on her cheeks that formed with her smile, the way her eyes shined while bathing in the Downtown lights and the scream of pure joy she let out as we came out of the tunnel. We all smiled and laughed for the rest of the way. And at that moment, I swear we were infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that even though the book used “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac for the tunnel scene and the film used “Heroes” by David Bowie there was actually a third song “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” by Stars. It was only mentioned in the script for the film as a prototype for the scene, you should listen to it but when you do it think how different that scene would have been. I like to believe that this song is the unknown song in the book, the Infinity song if you will.


End file.
